Tag: jane eyre

… AND BEHOLD THREE COMEBACK-SPARKING WEB SERIES CONCEPTS WE CAN TOTALLY FILM THIS WEEKEND, KATE, IF YOU’RE FREE! I’VE GOT SOME TIME ON SATURDAY AFTERNOON. TWITTER DM ME @b_goldberg!

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Vulture argues that Hudson and Rom-Com bombshells before/alongside her (Cameron Diaz, Reese Witherspoon, etc) are doomed to a future of happy motherhood and crappy film roles in box-office duds. Because apparently now that ladies like this have paid their dues, passed their shiny-faced prime popped out babies in their real lives, audiences don’t care about them anymore in fictional stories. At least, not the ones they made their careers on.

Claude Brodesser-Akner and Amanda Dobbins write, “One former studio chief puts the conundrum facing Kate Hudson best: ‘She is beautiful, smart, and funny — someone should write a movie for her.’ The problem facing both Hudson and just about all of the leading ladies of romantic comedy is: No one is.”

The Vulture authors argue that, “Market conditions don’t favor Hudson’s forte, the rom-com, nor does she seem interested in or able to develop her own material to propel herself forward.” Protracting the issue is the fact that studios are not offering any support for actresses like her to experiment with new formats— to “self-generate” new approaches to films in which she could shine.

Industry experts quoted in the piece recommend a switch to network television, perhaps something Mary Tyler-Moore-like.

I wonder, though, if all someone with her industry heft requires are a few edgy episodes of a web series to prove her worth in a different tone of story.

Let it be known that I am interested and available to pen the following for Hudson or any other RC-actresses whose roles have influenced my hairstyles from the mid-nineties ‘til the mid-aughts, ‘cause girlfriends, I owe you one:

– Jane Eyre travels to Jamaica on a quest to artistically document (through sketches) the legacy of her husband’s former wife, the Madwoman In The Attic, and thus make karmic amends. But when Jane arrives on the streets of Kingston, she discovers all too soon that the handsome local historian walking her through the family records is interested in sharing far more than his archival expertise! Existential hilarity ensues in this smart, spiritually compelling and exotic tale.

– What is the letter G? What is it… really? In this thoughtful yet comedic romp, G is a lady who represents goodness, gastronomy, geometry and a girl looking for a boy who’ll love her. But, stuck between the finicky and frustrating letter F and the hideously hairy letter H, what’s a G to choose? She must look deep into her cache of g-related qualities to learn how to liberate herself from the stifling order of the alphabet… and find love in a whole new word.

– When a lady werewolf sets out to pen an exhaustive dictionary of werewolf-isms, there is a big storm and she gets wet and doesn’t like it one bit. That’s all.

BEWARE the curse of the Rom-Com career, KATE HUDSON!