Things I’m Worried I Might Say To Michael Chabon Tonight

… if I happen to accidentally-on-purpose meet him, when I see him speak at the International Festival of Authors at Harbourfront.

Chabon

1. I LOVE YOU! Oh wait, I mean, like, I’m actually in a pretty committed relationship, I’m not sure why I threw panties at you. I just meant that YOUR BOOKS [SIC] IS THE BEST THINGS I’VE EVER READ and they make me want to snuggle you under a blanket and caress your wayward hair.

2. So. I’m really into carrot juice right now. What do you think about that?

3. I have always wondered what you smelled like. Now I know.

4. What advice do you have for a young writer NOWADAYS?

5. I don’t speak English?

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